Day 22 - 2 Samuel 1:12

A Fasted Journey for Spiritual Renewal

Day 22

“And they mourned and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and for Jonathan his son and for the people of the Lord and for the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword.” -2 Samuel 1:12

I spoke to an old Army buddy last night. We talked for over an hour. About all sorts of things. Our lives. Our pasts. Our love for the Lord. Our regret over treating “the Christian” in our platoon poorly at times. We talked about God’s sovereignty and wondered about our futures, yet know that the Lord has a plan for our lives; the one He laid out at the beginning of time. That plan includes our end. At least our end on this earth.

This Army brother of mine called me because another one of our platoon mates from Iraq had killed himself. So that was how our conversation started. I don't know all the demons he was dealing with. Hell, I know scant details at best right now. I do know that I'm disturbed by this information. I’m sad, yet also numb. I’m remorseful and regretful that I didn't keep in touch with him more. I’m left wondering why he did it. I’m left lamenting why, Lord?

We stayed in better contact years ago, yet that faded and even then it was minimal. He was a police officer so we shared that common thread too for a time. I regret not checking in with him, and most of the guys I've served with. Our lives have all shifted like sand. Our brief few years together was a lifetime ago. Yet there is a bond there that no one really understands except for our fellow infantryman. You can’t really explain it. These lived and shared experiences. Like most things in the past though, they’ve faded with time.

As I’ve been writing these journal entries, I have typically picked a verse the night before I write something. However, a few days ago I picked four or five and made the image and title to have a few in mind. This verse was already the one I had picked for today. I planned on taking it in a bit different of a direction but clearly realized that me picking this verse, without the foreknowledge about what I was going to learn a couple days later, was another act of God’s sovereign hand. Honestly, it makes the verse even more fitting and has brought increased meaning for this fast. I now am in a different state of mourning and don’t even have an appetite. Strange. Yet also, who would want to eat under such circumstances?

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Even though King Saul wanted to kill David, David still saw him as the rightful and anointed king and mourned accordingly. Jonathan, Saul’s son, was David’s best friend. Far too much history between these three for me to go through here, even briefly. Johnathan though is another one of my favorite Biblical whistleblowers. More on that another time. David, and his men who followed their leader’s example, tore their clothes, mourned and wept for the death of Saul and Jonathan. I never would have guessed at this aspect of my own fast. Add mourning and weeping for the death of my friend to the list.

I am not a medical professional. This journal is about my spiritual path and about that which the Lord has placed on me. This is not medical advice, nor was this fast done for any medical purpose. If you have a medical interest, seek medical advice. If you have particular health concerns, seek medical advice and/or conduct your own research. Any fasting advice, effects, realizations or anything else related to my fast come from my personal reflection and experience. If you are considering fasting, consulting with a healthcare provider may be appropriate for you.