Day 31 - 2 Samuel 12:15-17

A Fasted Journey for Spiritual Renewal

Day 31

“Then Nathan went to his house. And the Lord afflicted the child that Uriah's wife bore to David, and he became sick. David therefore sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. And the elders of his house stood beside him, to raise him from the ground, but he would not, nor did he eat food with them.” -2 Samuel 12:15-17

When I think of this part of the biblical account of King David, I try to think of the most heinous things I’ve ever done. The Bible is clear about some of the worst sins of David. Murder. Lust. Adultery. Yet, at the same time David was a man after God’s own heart (1 Samuel 13:14, Acts 13:22). How could that possibly be!? God knows our hearts. “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” -Jeremiah 17:9 God! He can understand it; and He understood David’s heart. He understood that even though David was a wretched sinner, He still sought God.

If you don’t know this part of the biblical account of King David, the drastic readers digest version is that he was the commander in chief. One of his men, Uriah, had a wife named Bathsheba who was very beautiful. Uriah was one of David’s soldiers; and he was a good one. He was loyal and committed. While Uriah was battling on behalf of David, David saw Bathsheba from the palace. He had her brought to the palace and he slept with her. She became pregnant. David had Uriah brought to the palace and tried to get him to go to her, but he didn’t because his men were sleeping at the palace, so he did too. A good soldier indeed.

So David, in order to try and cover his tracks, his sin, sent a letter with Uriah to the commanding officer. In the letter he wrote, “Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die.” Think of the irony here. David sent that letter with Uriah. Since Uriah was a loyal, honorable man and soldier, he didn’t try to see what it said, he simply delivered it. He delivered his own death sentence. The commanding officer followed the evil order. I’m sure like so many, even today, he thought, “Well, I was ordered to do it so I better just follow orders,” or, “well, I have a pretty good position here in David’s army. Can’t risk that,” or, “I’m going to be able to retire after a few more campaigns, so I better just comply.” Resistance to tyranny is obedience to God. The commanding officer failed his men. He failed Uriah. He even failed David by not calling him out on this wickedness.

Uriah fell in battle, and so did other men. That is how ground combat goes. Especially where the battle is fiercest and when you abandon your men. This is a point I have never heard talked about before. The Biblical account (2 Samuel 11) says, “some of the men in David’s army fell; moreover, Uriah the Hittite died.” Of course men will die in battle, however, since David hatched this wicked plan, and since the commanding officer complied with the evil orders, other men died too; likely in needless fashion. Their blood is also on David’s hands. David was willing to kill off his own men in order for the honorable Uriah to die. Despicable.

Before we dog too much more on David though some questions need to be posed. Have you ever looked at a man or woman with lust? Have you ever harbored extreme anger in your heart towards others, maybe even with murderous intent? Jesus addressed both adultery and murder in Matthew 5 saying that even looking on someone with lust makes you guilty and that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgement. We’re all guilty, aren’t we? I know I am. It’s why Christ’s atoning gift on the cross is all the more precious. We deserve nothing but judgment. Yet, he washed away our sins because he loves us. We have to recognize that our hearts are deceitful and desperately sick. We have to recognize that we are sinners who deserve nothing but eternal judgment. We have to recognize that Jesus is Lord.

Once Uriah was dead, Bathsheba moved into the palace and became David’s wife. She also bore a son. She’s not innocent here. By no means. She’s as guilty as David. 2 Samuel 11 closes by saying, “But the thing David had done displeased the Lord.” In the next chapter, Nathan goes to David and rebukes him. Too bad the feckless commanding officer didn’t have the intestinal fortitude to do such a thing. So few do. Most live in such fear that they are so afraid to do the right thing, even when it is beyond clear.

David eventually tells Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” To which Nathan responds, “The Lord has taken away your sin. You are not going to die. But because by doing this you have shown utter contempt for the Lord, the son born to you will die.” Even though we can repent of our sin, even though Christ washed it away, even though we can be redeemed, that doesn't mean that our sin does not have consequences.

Although David repented, fasted, prayed and laid in sackcloth for seven days, the child still died. David had a pure heart. He was back to seeking God. He was back to being a man after God’s own heart. After the child died, David cleaned himself up and went to “the house of the Lord and worshipped.” Truly, he was a man after God’s own heart. Even when things don’t go how we would like, we must understand that God has a reason for ALL things in our lives. Sometimes it is a bitter pill to swallow. Sometimes it is a consequence of our own actions. Nonetheless, we serve a God who is always worthy of worship.

After David worshipped he went to eat. His attendants thought all this behavior was odd and asked him about it. He answered, “While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, ‘Who knows? The Lord may be gracious to me and let the child live.’ But now that he is dead, why should I go on fasting? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me.” There again are some themes we have seen before with fasting. Grief, mourning, and seeking God’s grace. David had a proper view of his fast. Take these things to the Lord, with pure intent and heart, and pray boldly for what you are seeking. You may not get the answer you want, as David didn’t.

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Another aspect of this fast for me is also mourning for a child. Through God’s grace, He blessed Heidi and I with another pregnancy. Even considering the circumstances of our life right now, we were excited to bring another child into our family. Even though the evil ones in our government stripped our health insurance away. Even though we live in a small house with one bathroom. Even though all sorts of earthly things we can point to may cause people to question us, and we know it does since some of them are opinionated enough to spout their half-cocked thoughts or give us their foolish looks, we were joyful to have another.

My favorite passage about children comes from Solomon, whom God blessed Bathsheba and David with after the events discussed above, says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.” -Psalm 127:3-5

Children certainly are a reward. In March Heidi had to have another dilation and curettage (D&C) surgery to remove remaining tissue of the child. It is never easy going through something like that. It is something that we should properly mourn before the Lord. It is something we have mourned. At the same time, we give thanks all the more for the children we do have. They are a heritage from the Lord indeed.

I am not a medical professional. This journal is about my spiritual path and about that which the Lord has placed on me. This is not medical advice, nor was this fast done for any medical purpose. If you have a medical interest, seek medical advice. If you have particular health concerns, seek medical advice and/or conduct your own research. Any fasting advice, effects, realizations or anything else related to my fast come from my personal reflection and experience. If you are considering fasting, consulting with a healthcare provider may be appropriate for you.