How to Be a Man of Courage

Happy Father's Day

The image this week was taken days before the fbi ruthlessly suspended me. It was one of the very last days we were in Kansas. Lucy was 4 days old. I was suspended 14 days later. We were all vastly different people back then. I thought I knew a thing or two about courage. Between being an infantryman, cop, fbi agent, fbi SWAT bro, whistleblower, husband, bible believing Christian, and other aspects of life where difficulties were encountered not just physically but emotionally and spiritually as well which required a courageous response or approach.

Even now, there are a number of matters, relationships, and decisions in my life that require a courageous handling. The fbi matters are simply one of those areas. However, it is the most public one and therefore the one I'm most inclined to discuss in a public way. As we learned over the years from other whistleblowers assigned to the fbi’s Security Division (SecD), "O'Boyle and his family were left homeless. The fbi had possession of all of Mr. O'Boyle's and his family's personal effects, including clothes and furniture,” yet, “no one in SecD took any steps to assist O'Boyle from the desperate predicament that SecD created. SecD caused O'Boyle, who was still an fbi employee, to be left destitute in a city [where] he had no family or support” according to protected disclosures made be one of the SecD whistleblowers.

That took courage. That whistleblower, as well as at least one other from SecD, was also retaliated against. They must've known they too would be retaliated against having seen numerous instances of whistleblower retaliation occur from within SecD. Nonetheless, they courageously stood for what was right.

What makes some people take bold stands like that and why is it so rare? When I was in the Army they drilled “The Army Values” into us as new recruits. They have an acronym, LDRSHIP, for them.

Loyalty

Duty

Respect

Selfless-service

Honor

Integrity

Personal Courage

The Army defines personal courage as “Face fear, danger or adversity (physical or moral). Personal courage has long been associated with our Army. With physical courage, it is a matter of enduring physical duress and at times risking personal safety. Facing moral fear or adversity may be a long, slow process of continuing forward on the right path, especially if taking those actions is not popular with others. You can build your personal courage by daily standing up for and acting upon the things that you know are honorable.”

It’s a good, succinct definition. The values themselves are also something most would hold in adoration. But either written here, on the Army's website, or the business card sized “inspectsble item” that we had to carry around as privates with them on it, what are they really? They're just words. We all memorized them. But not everyone lived them. Certainly no one upheld them fully 100% of the time.

So, how does one become a man (or woman) of courage? I came across this sermon entitled “How to Be a Man of Courage” on Friday. It was first given on Father’s Day twenty five years ago. It isn't just for dads though. It’s for everyone. It is embedded below.

Or you can listen/read it here: https://www.gty.org/library/sermons-library/80-217/How-to-Be-a-Man-of-Courage

If you don't have the hour to listen to the whole thing, listen at 1.5x! It truly is worth your time. Here's a few quotes from it that really stuck with me:

“It is conviction, it is courage, and it is strength. But there’s one other thing that has to be added in the Christian environment, and that is truth. The convictions – the principles that form the convictions for us rise out of the Bible. For a Christian man, he is a man of the Word who knows the truth, who has convictions about the truth, and that is they are non-negotiable and non-compromising convictions. And because of those convictions he is courageous to confront anything that assaults those truths, and he has the strength to withstand that confrontation. That’s manliness. Just in general, men were designed by God to be the protectors and the providers and the saviors and the deliverers and the securers of their wives and their children. True manliness is summed up in words like conviction, courage, and strength.”

“It matters little what the financial capability of that father is. It matters little where his social status lies. It matters little what he looks like, how popular he may be, or how esteemed by the community. What really matters is does he have fortitude? Is he a man of truth? Does he have convictions? Does he have the courage of those convictions? And does he have the strength to stand when those convictions are assaulted? That is a man of fortitude. That’s the legacy that a man leaves to his family that produces a haven for his wife, courageous sons, and secure daughters.

     “And perhaps getting a little bit deeper into the detail of that, this is a man who has learned to resist temptation to sin personally. This is a man who isn’t a hypocrite. This is a man whose wife and children see consistency, a resolute strength. No matter how much the society, how much the world and the flesh and the devil get cranked up to a fever pitch, he doesn’t waver. He doesn’t fall. He has the strength, he has the fortitude to resist the temptation to sin personally, because he has built his life on a belief that the Word of God is true.

     “That’s where his convictions come from. And on those convictions he stands with courage, and by the grace of God and the strength of the Spirit, he stands against all assaults against that. I don’t believe there’s any reason to assume that a man necessarily needs to fall into sin that destroys his testimony, destroys his life. I think the grace of God and the truth of Scripture and the power of the Holy Spirit is given to us with the promise of God that if we appropriate those things, it doesn’t have to happen. But a man with fortitude is seen by the people closest to him as having the strength to stand personally against temptation.

     “Secondly, a man with fortitude is seen by the people closest to him as a man who never compromises his convictions. If something is a conviction, if something is a non-negotiable, he never vacillates at that point. Whether the appeal to him is for money or for more power or for prestige or whatever, to waylay some level of conflict. A man with fortitude does not compromise his convictions.

     “And a third thing you would say about a man of fortitude, he not only stands against assaults on him personally, he not only holds to his convictions courageously, but thirdly, he is able to resist the temptation to tolerate sin around him. That is to say it negatively. Positively he has the strength not to tolerate sin around him. Once he has affirmed something is wrong, it’s not only wrong for him, it’s wrong for everybody in his family, and it’s wrong for everybody around him. And so he holds the standard high at every front. He isn’t a man who says, “This is right and I will do it. This is wrong and I will not;” and then says to his family, “This is right and I will do it. This is wrong and I will not, and I want you to follow me in that;” and then goes to his office or goes into his relationships and tolerates the wrong in others. He’s not that kind of man. He has fortitude and he is intolerant of what violates the Word of God and what dishonors God, whether it’s himself, his family, or his friends.”

“And I’m telling you, this is a sad day in which we live. We not only have the absence of fortitude and courage and manliness among men in the public eye but even in the church. I am continually amazed at even those in church leadership, even pastors. I would like to be able to say to you, “Well if you want to see a man of integrity, if you want to see a man of fortitude, if you want to see a man of courage, a man of conviction, a man of principle, a man whose life is built on truth, a man who lives that and has the strength to fight against the onslaught, if you want to see that kind of man, go to a church and find a pastor.” But I can’t say that.

     “Men say they believe the Bible, yet they don’t teach it. Men agree that sin must be punished. They say it from the pulpit but if those are the sins of their children, it’s a different story. Men oppose dishonesty and corruption until they confront their bosses and risk losing their jobs. If confronting the dishonesty of your company might bring the loss of your job, would you say something? A man with fortitude would. Men maintain high moral standards until their own lusts are kindled by some illicit desire and then all of a sudden there’s another standard for them. Men are honest until a little dishonesty would save them some money. Men have a conviction until it’s challenged by someone they admire or someone they fear.”

“If you have unashamed boldness and you live at an uncommon standard, believe me, you can trust God to give you an unearthly protection. You might think, “Well, if I live that way, if I hold the standard high, I’ll never make it in my job. I’ll never make it in this social group. I’ll never make in this area of influence if I hold that standard.” Just know this, if you don’t then you’re not going to have the assistance of the blessing of God. If you do, He promises that you will. Take your choice.”

There's more, but you'll have to listen for the rest. Happy Father's Day.