The Path it Paved
Reflecting on 9/11
September 11, 2001. Just that date has significance to many who see it. We don’t even need pictures, video, audio, or discussion to immediately know what happened on that date. It stands alone for many bringing all sorts of memories, images and emotions all on its own. I was a freshman in high school back then and stayed home from school that day watching the seemingly endless coverage of what was happening.
I remember the pundits initially talking about how they thought it was some type of accident or small plane that crashed into the North Tower. I remember seeing the dark smoke drifting through the clear, bright New York morning. I vividly recall seeing the second plane smash into the South Tower. I remember the fireball bursting from the tower. More than anything, I remember seeing people jump to their deaths rather than be burned alive.
Those images, for whatever reason, filled me with the most sadness and most anger than any others, except for the crumbling of the towers. Perhaps I’m not alone in that. I remember that evening, taking a shower and crying while lamenting what had happened; and praying for vengeance to be taken. I didn’t know it then, but 9/11 put me on the path that would eventually lead to where I am now.
I was 15 years old on 9/11. It was the first week of the first year of high school for me. I immediately began thinking about how I could help my country respond; as if somehow I could have any real impact anyways. In short order, by October of 2001, we invaded Afghanistan.
I longed to be a senior in high school, because if I was just born a few years earlier, I could join the military and go fight. I’ve alluded to it in other posts, but I certainly had a glamorous view of war before I actually saw it; as do many young men.
But, I later learned that I couldn’t. I have asthma and flat feet. I wasn’t able to enlist because of those birth defects. When I was a junior in high school, a friend of mine who was a senior brought me to the Marine recruiting office that he was going through to enlist. Once I told the recruiter that I had asthma, he was like, “Damn. I wish you wouldn’t have told me that. Well. You can’t be a Marine because of the asthma, but here’s a tee shirt.” 🤣
It wasn’t until 2006, about half a year after I graduated from high school that I was able to go through the Army’s enlistment process and obtain a waiver for asthma. I don’t think they even cared that I had flat feet at that point. The Army was hurting for numbers so bad in those days that you could’ve gotten a waiver for just about anything it seemed. Crazy to think that I graduated high school in 2005 and today someone who was born in 2005 could enlist in the Armed Forces. My best friend from childhood, someone I’ve known since first grade enlisted in the infantry in the spring of 2006, if I remember correctly. That was one of the events that also furthered my own desire to enlist.
Since 9/11 and even since speaking to that Marine recruiter, I had often wondered what could have been and often concluded that I would regret not serving when I was old. My friend’s older brother had enlisted in the infantry after he graduated from high school in the 90’s and was eventually deployed to Bosnia. I think that always had an impact on us as kids because he was someone we looked up to. I can’t speak for them, but I think we were all duped. Young men convinced to sign on the dotted line, as so many before and after us. It’s a weird dichotomy though.
Some of my fondest memories come from my time in the Army. Some of the best men I’ve ever known, I only met because of our mutual decisions to sign on that line. My time in the Army, and especially my deployments are the most formative experiences I’ve had. I certainly am who I am today because of those experiences. Some of those experiences solidified in me the idea that courage isn’t the lack of fear, it is doing the right thing in spite of that fear.
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune
In the below clip from Korengal, former infantry Sergeant Brendan O’Byrne discusses why he hates when people tell him “you did what you had to do.” I’m sympathetic to his sentiments, and have been for years. That being said, our choices are bound to lead us to places where we “must” make a certain choice or take a certain action because the converse will result in an objectively worse outcome, like an enemy combatant killing you or one of your fellow soldiers and friends. Or, the outcome will result in a morally reprehensible position and that counter-decision would further lead us into cowardice; sometimes both of those outcomes at the same time.
Yes, we chose to enlist. Yes, we chose to be in the infantry, and in our generation’s wartime era, we, thus, chose to go to war. Therefore we chose all that those decisions resulted in. At the same time, that path had been established for us at the beginning of time. We just didn’t know it and struggle to understand it. We struggle with the fallen nature of man that has resulted in wars of all of history. We struggle with the horror of things we’ve done and seen, even when those things were justified. We struggle with the knowledge and memory of friends who didn’t come back and with the knowledge of how those who did are forever changed. We struggle with understanding our path.
“A man's steps are from the Lord;
how then can man understand his way?” -Proverbs 20:24
While reflecting on my own war time experience lately I’ve also been thinking a lot about how, at least for my entire life, those who advocate the most for war are often the ones who would never “serve” in one. They are the elite, politically and financially. Often times both. They receive dividends from the military industrial complex’s most profitable companies. They engage in backdoor, closed door and immoral deals, sometimes even with their political “foes” because what is good for the goose is good for the gander. They pull the levers on when those companies get new, lucrative contracts or contract extensions so they know just when to buy more stock shares.
Oh the spigot from Vietnam was turned off? It gets turned back on in Afghanistan. Not enough coming from helping the mujahideen against the Soviets? No problem, we’ll get more black money to fuel endeavors in Latin America. Hmm…that’s running dry, good thing Saddam Hussein invaded Kuwait! We can actually mobilize the regular military now! That didn’t last long. Not to worry, Somalia, Bosnia-Herzegovina and Kosovo are on deck. Ok good, we made it back to Afghanistan; where we would stay for twenty years and lose to the Taliban. During those twenty years, more wars and interventions would be undertaken, some of which are still active (click here for a more complete list). Man, Afghanistan sure was a profitable endeavor…how do we fill the void now? Oh look, Russia invaded Ukraine! Yay!
I’m not saying that war should never happen and that it is never just. It certainly can be. I think invading Afghanistan was more than appropriate in the wake of 9/11. Twenty years though? And to end with thirteen more American service members being slain because of atrocious “leadership.” Don’t take my word on that either, but take this man’s word, who lost his son in the blundered pull out.
Oh, and this man’s word for it who also lost a son because of our government’s incompetence.
The governmental incompetence, and desire for personal, selfish gain by many of the members (from both main parties) over the years has only led to the detriment of America; certainly to her warrior class. A warrior class that ought to be reserved for only the gravest of circumstances.
Two Sides Of War (All Wars) - Henry Grantland Rice
"All wars are planned by older men
In council rooms apart,
Who call for greater armament
And map the battle chart.
But out along the shattered field
Where golden dreams turn gray,
How very young the faces were
Where all the dead men lay.
Portly and solemn in their pride,
The elders cast their vote
For this or that, or something else,
That sounds the martial note.
But where their sightless eyes stare out
Beyond life's vanished toys,
I've noticed nearly all the dead
Were hardly more than boys."
Earlier this week I read a fantastic piece right here on Substack, granted, based on the comments of many on that post you may disagree with my assessment. It came from The Free Press, which you can read below ⬇️
It stood out to me for a few reasons. It’s about art, at its base level, and about at least one “artist” who never saw himself that way. I think that aspect stood out to me because of Is The Pen Mightier? last week. I’ve never been good at any form of art. I still don’t think I am. However, since my suspension, I have found solace in making different forms of digital art using Gimp, which is essentially a free image editing software. I don’t recall exactly how or why I did this, but just that I did. It is what I used to make the logo I posted last week. I have done a lot of other artistic, for lack of a better word, renditions of images and photos using it too.
The non-artist turned artist in The Free Press article is primarily about a guy named Ahmed Rabbani. He was rounded up in Pakistan in September of 2002. From 2002 until early 2023 when he was released, Rabbani remained in US custody because “prosecutors [were] unable to show the military court that he had played a role in September 11 or any other terrorist attacks, and his lawyers unable to convince the court he wouldn’t do so in the future.”
This raised a lot of questions, concerns and comparisons in my mind. I used to think people the US took into custody overseas were not subject to our rules or laws; indeed that is one of the points of why George W. Bush had Gitmo established. But to indefinitely hold someone in a prison on the shores of a communist country, an ideology America has long claimed to be against but has used to her “advantage” here, and to wait about 21 years before releasing a person who you have been unable to prove guilty of anything related to any form of terrorism seems like a bit of a stretch. No wonder Amnesty International claims what happens at Gitmo is a major breach of human rights.
The Trump administration barred the detainees who created artwork while incarcerated at Gitmo from taking it with them upon their release. Although the Biden administration softened on that stance, allowing them to take some of the art, both administrations claim the art is property of the US government. As The Free Press notes, President Obama signed an executive order 14 years ago ascertaining that Gitmo be closed. So why hasn’t it? Because the government also decided that they can keep it open as long as there are any “national security” matters tied to a prisoner, case, ongoing investigation, or whatever other trope they can come up with to extend the prison’s existence.
In 2016, while running for President, Donald Trump posited that Gitmo could be used to house US citizens suspected of terrorism and military tribunals conducted there to try them. Of the idea he said, “I know that they want to try them in our regular court systems, and I don’t like that at all.” I wonder, considering the miscarriage of justice being meted out in our “regular court systems” today against him, his allies and supporters, if his ideas on Gitmo have changed.
A January 6 defendant, and former FBI confidential human source, Enrique Tarrio, was recently sentenced to 22 years in prison by our “regular court systems.” He was not even in DC, rather in a Baltimore hotel room, on January 6, 2021, after being arrested 48 hours earlier. Yet, our “regular court systems” worked in favor of the regime; as could be expected. Attorney General Merrick Garland said, in light of Tarrio’s sentencing, “Over the past week, four members of the Proud Boys received sentences that reflect the danger their crimes pose to our democracy…Today, the leader of the Proud Boys, Enrique Tarrio, learned that the consequence of conspiring to oppose by force the lawful transfer of presidential power is 22 years in federal prison.”
Sounds similar to something any of the last handful of presidents and their AG’s would say about Gitmo and the detainees there. Instead of not finding the majority of Gitmo detainees guilty of anything, we simply held them (and still hold some) in perpetuity. Here, our “regular court systems” have not only held J6 detainees, but then found them guilty and sentenced them to over multiple decades, in this case, for not even being in DC on the day of the “insurrection.” Tarrio has claimed that our “regular court systems” wanted him to implicate Trump, something he refused to do because it wasn’t true and so they really stuck it to him when it came time for sentencing.
I have zero doubt that America has detained and tried actual terrorists and/or combatants connected to harming America in the wake of 9/11. I have zero doubt that America has killed scores of them. I have engaged in ground combat with some of them, so I know firsthand the truth of that aspect. I also have zero doubt that there were people who committed crimes on January 6, 2021, while at the Capitol. Crimes for which they can and should be arrested and tried for; but crimes that they should be tried for in accordance with their full Constitutional protections and adjudicated in a manner commensurate with those crimes.
“No one enters suit justly; no one goes to law honestly; they rely on empty pleas, they speak lies, they conceive mischief and give birth to iniquity.” -Isaiah 59:4
Dates are a funny thing. A memorable date, 9/11, was the starting point for this post. Certainly we all have at least one date that stands out in our brain, even if it is our own birthday. What’s more likely is that there are a handful of dates that stand out to you. For me, it is birthdays of my daughters and wife, birthdays of other family members, our wedding dates, Christmas, the 4th of July, 9/11, the day I enlisted in the Army, and more importantly, the day I ETS’d (expiration - term of service) from the Army; the day I was suspended from the FBI.
On September 26, 2001, the CIA’s Jawbreaker team, the first Americans to land in Afghanistan and who started the Global War on Terror (GWOT) ahead of the main military forces, arrived. I’m certain that date stands out to those who were on that team. Team leader, Gary Schroen, talks about it in his book, First In, and even has a chapter dedicated to it and the next two days. That’s the thing about dates. Most are inconsequential but then there are some that stand out in dramatic fashion. September 26th is like that for me these days too. But, September 26, 2022.
That is the day the FBI suspended me based on unfounded allegations from someone they refuse to identify that I had been making “unprotected disclosures” to the media. As we approach that one year anniversary, I’ve thought much about the choices I’ve made and how the outcome of not making those choices would’ve resulted in a morally reprehensible position and cowardice. Thought patterns and decision making ability I learned on the path 9/11 paved for me led to where I am now.
Little did I know then, but the actual combat I endured on behalf of this country helped, in ways, provide the requisite strength and experience I now need to endure the assaults and attacks that many have and are hurling my way; as well as at other whistleblowers. When distorted and disgusting representatives of this country like Jerry Nadler, the so-called Stacey Plaskett and the FBI lob unjust accusations my way, or when anyone they’ve duped does, I must remember to smile. An ironic, sad smile.
I simply have to look at my wrist where I wear a memorial bracelet for a friend and mentor of mine who was killed in Afghanistan. I merely have to tap into my memories of the men I served and fought with; a number of whom who are no longer with us. All I have to do is remember that I have already done more for this country than most of them ever will; and that even our boots have faced more danger on her behalf than they ever will.
(Here⬆️ is a short clip of one day on patrol in Afghanistan. A day we all walked away from, which wasn’t always the case.)
Never did I think that I would go to war on behalf of my country only to end up battling her political and governmental elite for exposing wrongdoing that I saw to Congress. I’m realizing everything that occurs in our lives is all part of the same path we’ve always been on, we just don’t always realize it in the moment. We think we are unprepared, when in fact we are perfectly prepared, even in our fallenness. We don’t alqays understand, or remember, that new things are being formed; even if they are being formed through difficulty.
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” -Isaiah 43:18-19
Hold the line.
O'BYRNE says do you think God will say that? What did we do? We fought a enemy in Afghanistan that was evil. Did our own government not put the full focus and might of our military on that target? No they drug it out for profit. Was it sinful killing an evil enemy at whatever point in this war? I don't believe it was. I would go back and stack bodies if our government wanted to be serious about ridding the world of an evil organization like the Taliban. But they better have a darn good short-term plan.