The FBI suspending me rendered us homeless. We were in the middle of a transfer from Kansas to Virginia. We had already sold our house in Kansas and not yet closed on the one in Virginia. The adverse change in my employment inhibited the loan from being approved. We had just had our fourth daughter, Lucy, on September 8th. The suspension came on September 26th.
This led to staying with family in various states for a week or so at a time with the brunt of it being in a relative’s RV. Living this way certainly added to the difficulties of having our life turned on it’s head, not to mention the additional factor of having a newborn, but we are grateful to have had a roof over our heads each night. Even during the times of struggle with this transient way of living.
With no house in Kansas and the inability to go through with the home purchase in Virginia, we decided to stay in Wisconsin since that is where the majority of our family lives and where we would have the most support during this time. It was, and still is, a strange transition. We’ve seen just how independent we became living in Kansas without any familial infrastructure nearby. We also see how blessed we were to be sent to Kansas and how we learned and grew as a family during our time there.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” -Isaiah 41:10
I told my wife, Heidi, in the early days of the suspension, only partly tongue-in-cheek, that I felt like Jonah being called to Nineveh. Which in it’s own way is strange since when I was in the Army I always loved trips home and really looked forward to moving back in the waning days of my second enlistment. We also were trying to figure out a way to not stay in Wisconsin, but it was readily evident that there likely wasn’t a better option from a logical perspective, much less seeing that the transpiring events were forming an inescapable “mighty tempest” (Jonah 1:4) against us.
We were really looking forward to moving to Virginia and embracing the next part of our journey along with what we thought was part of the FBI adventure. My best friend from the Wichita office had recently transferred to the area with his family and the house we thought we were going to buy was about 10 minutes away from them, which was far closer than we were in the Wichita area. We were already planning a “Friendsgiving.” Clearly the Lord had established a different plan.
I began telling some family and friends my Nineveh analogy when talking about our circumstances. I don’t think most of them really understood while those who did, save for a small few, were likely offended; primarily due to my own lack of proper explanation. Hopefully I’m wrong about my perceptions here. What does the story about the guy who got swallowed by a big fish have to do with anything anyways, right?
Fleeing to Tarshish
“But Jonah rose to flee to Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. So he paid the fare and went down into it, to go with them to Tarshish, away from the presence of the Lord.” -Jonah 1:3In May 2022, I attended tryouts in the Quantico, VA area for a new unit the FBI was creating. To my surprise, and perhaps to my chagrin now, I later found out that I had been selected. I was back at Quantico in June attending the FBI’s SWAT Basic Course, a three week school, when I received my order’s for the new unit. After much deliberation and prayer, we decided to accept the transfer.
A theme Heidi and I have had since moving to Kansas was taking opportunities as they presented themselves. This was one of the primary reasons the FBI was appealing as a career choice from the very beginning; endless opportunity if you seek it. Furthermore, a thematic verse for our family is Proverbs 19:21 which says, “Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.”
We believed God had provided this opportunity to us and in a way was asking us, “Do you trust Me?” We had tried our hand at other opportunities over the years after all, in anticipation that they would lead to a move closer to home or some other path that we were supposed to go down. If I would’ve known my path was leading here, I wouldn't have chosen it. I think that, at least in part, is why I am on it. What’s that I said in the last post about “getting out of your comfort zone?”
Getting out of our comfort zone in our walk and relationship with the Lord is often where we are being called as well, since this is a way in which our faith will grow. It is through trials that the steadfastness of our faith is proven and how our true faith is often revealed (James 1, 1 Peter 4, Romans 12, etc.). It is evident that Jonah did not want to deal with what he likely saw as a hard enough trial with just going to Nineveh to begin with, much less to proclaim their pending doom. Yet that is where God had called him, and where he would be going no matter how much he tried to avoid it. Even though our “Tarshish” wasn’t being sought out of rebellious defiance, we still never imagined that our path would always lead to “Nineveh” either.
The whereabouts of ancient Tarshish remain unknown for certain. Leading theories point to locations including a now uninhabited area on the northern coast of Tunisia (formerly Utica, a Phoenician city), an area in southern Spain (formerly Tartessos, near and surrounding today’s Cadiz), Sardinia and even an area in Great Britain. For more information on that click here, here, here, or here. Of note, the Phoenician trade routes had stopping points at all of the likely locations for Tarshish. Regardless of where Tarshish was, one thing is certain: Jonah was fleeing the presence of the Lord to get there.
Ancient Nineveh on the other hand is much more identifiable these days than Jonah’s chosen destination of Tarshish. It is historically accepted that Nineveh was located on the eastern side of the Tigris River in what is now Mosul, Iraq. Best estimates indicate that Nineveh was first established in 6000 BC and has essentially been inhabited since. From a post-flood biblical perspective, Nimrod (which means “let us revolt” and was likely a moniker attributed to him by his contemporaries because of how he lived rather than his given name), established Nineveh amongst other settlements according to Genesis 10.
Nimrod was a descendant of Noah through his son Ham. Three generations from the flood is all it took for man to again be diametrically opposed to God. That was evident from Nimrod’s abject tyranny of his fellow man, as well as his direct opposition to God as seen in his attempted construction of the Tower of Babel. Nimrod rejected Noah’s curse (Genesis 9) that the line of Ham would be subject to those of Shem and Japheth and lived in a way to ensure that his own will would prevail. It’s no wonder that Nineveh, the capital of Assyria, would also eventually be seen as evil to God.
“Arise, go to Nineveh, that great city, and call out against it, for their evil has come up before me.” -Jonah 1:2The Bible tells us that Jonah went down to Joppa (modern day Jaffa) to board the ship to Tarshish. Jaffa Port is anywhere from 745-810 miles from Mosul, depending on the route you take today. The port in Jonah’s day was probably not exactly where it is now, but either way I imagine Jonah waiting to board the ship, thinking, “If I can just get as far away as possible, maybe the Lord will change His mind about it having to be me who must go to Nineveh.”
What Jonah didn't realize was that God was going to use him for His purposes no matter how hard Jonah fought against it, no matter how opposed to it he was. Maybe he did realize it and he chose to resist anyways in a last ditch effort that he could avoid what God had called him to do. Regardless, Jonah was willfully disobeying God’s command to go to Nineveh and call out against it because of their wickedness.
What we see in Jonah is something we can see in ourselves if we are willing to take a hard enough look. That’s a realization I’m facing even now. We can be like Jonah and actively oppose God’s calling. We can be willfully ignorant or disobedient. We can actively resist, rebel or flee. We can try to escape to the Tarshish’s of the world. Or, we can humbly submit to God’s sovereign authority and willfully walk down the path He has established.
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” -1 Peter 4:12
Even during the times when we are humbly and faithfully walking, we may still face difficulties and trials. It’s likely actually. All the more reason to accept God’s will for our lives, embrace those trials and seek discernment while on the path. I can think of times in my life where I put my will first, or at least didn’t consider the alternative. Those decisions rarely, if ever, end up positively. Not to mention the unknown or unintended consequences of such actions. Living in a fallen world is hard enough the way it is. We will sin and stumble plenty, even when seeking the truth. Being discerning as to what the Lord’s will is during any given circumstance will only be beneficial to us. That discernment comes through prayer, Scripture and wise counsel.
No matter the location of Tarshish, it was opposite that of where God was calling Jonah. Furthermore, any of the accepted locations were much farther away than even Jaffa, and all were somewhere across the Mediterranean Sea. I’m partial to the location in southeastern Spain through the Strait of Gibraltar. Not only can a logical and historical case be made for it (granted that’s true for the other leading candidates too), but it’s also about as far away from Nineveh as Jonah could imagine to get. Which I think is a poignant example for us during those times when we try to establish our will and prop up our own “towers” or other false gods, as Nimrod did.
Obviously there are some differences in our story and that of Jonah. Rather than fleeing the presence of the Lord, we thought we had been faithfully walking toward where He had been calling; and perhaps we were, which is exactly why we are where we are anyways. Since my suspension we have seen the Lord at work. We have seen our faith grow, and hopefully we are also glorifying God with how we act and speak about it.
Don’t get me wrong, many tears have been shed along the way, combined with moments of anger, spite, fear, remorse and a multitude of other sinful behaviors. Even if they were just for a moment, sometimes it’s been much longer than that too. I’m also not saying that all of those emotions are always sinful, but I know they have been at times for me during this period of life.
Thrown Overboard
We had ideas of what life would be like in Virginia and what we would do over the next few years while we lived there. We planned to explore much of the east coast to include parts of the country we have never been, monuments, museums, cities, campgrounds, national parks, beaches and more. Not to mention the new duties I’d have as an FBI agent, as well as continuing to grow and transform as a family now that we had four daughters. It was an exciting time. Little did we know, we were about to be thrown overboard.
It’s speculative at best, but I imagine Jonah also had ideas and thoughts of what his new life would be like in Tarshish. Maybe he too thought it would be a new adventure. Heading off to a faraway land filled with different experiences, places and people. Jonah “fleeing the presence of the Lord” may indicate that he was abdicating his calling as a prophet or trying to get as far from the temple of the Lord as possible. Either way, this rebellious streak likely filled Jonah with excitement about the possibilities he could undertake on his own. Sinful desire, after all, is often exciting and Jonah’s desire was opposite that of God’s will.
Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” -James 4:15
Jonah was trying to escape his calling at all costs; and no matter the cost. He fled from the Lord and was getting out of Dodge Joppa. Another lesson we can glean from the story of Jonah is that God will use us, even if we don’t want to be used. If Jonah wouldn’t have rebelled against the Lord, he never would have encountered the sailors aboard the ship to Tarshish.
If it weren’t for Jonah’s encounter with them and the miraculous, deadly storm God sent to inhibit Jonah’s journey across the Mediterranean, those sailors likely would have remained devoted to their pagan gods instead of turning to the one true Lord. But, God had established their paths as well and had them on that ship at that precise time, at that precise place with Jonah for His precise purposes.
Nonetheless, Jonah remained defiant. He refused to follow what God wanted of him and instead chose death. The sailors asked him how they could get the storm to stop, so Jonah told them to throw him overboard because he knew it was because of him that the mighty storm had befallen them. He would have rather died than go to Nineveh, but at least he was willing to sacrifice himself so the others aboard the ship could live. However, the sailors initially refused to kill Jonah and attempted to row to dry land, but the sea raged all the more against them. Subsequently, they cried out to God so that Jonah’s blood would not be on their hands.
After Jonah was thrown overboard, the storm stopped. Those sailors made a sacrifice to the Lord and also made vows. From the reading of this passage, it seems likely that these sailors turned from their pagan religion (probably Phoenician worshippers of the god Baal) and became believers in God.
Because of their profession as sailors, they may have been able to further spread this story as well as that of their newfound faith, further demonstrating how it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand, no matter what we try to take into our own hands in opposition of God.
Throughout this time we have not blamed God for what has happened and is happening. Instead, we recognize that His sovereign hand is at work, no matter the turmoil we may face on earth. That isn’t to say that everything is unicorns and rainbows. It certainly is not.
The lack of simple things, like the vast majority of our belongings being held in government storage in Virginia, not having our own house or even a crib for our new baby, amongst others have been difficult and trying in many ways. Nonetheless, we trust that the Lord will use it all for His ultimate purposes, even if that means earthly difficulty for us. Although we weren’t swallowed by a fish like Jonah, a different beast’s belly was my destination; at least for a time. More on that in Part 2.
Further cross-references
Proverbs 19:21, see also, Proverbs 3:5-6, 16:1, 16:9, 20:24, Psalm 33:10-11, 37:23-24, Isaiah 14:26-27, 30:21, 46:10, 48:17, 58:11, Job 23:13, Jeremiah 10:23 among others
Postscript
Have you ever thought you were being sent somewhere you weren’t supposed to go, or didn’t want to go? How did you handle it, especially once you realized there was no way out?
Although I only made brief mentions of Nimrod, the history of Nineveh, Tarshish, Phoenician trade routes, etc., I learned a far deal more about all of that while writing this. Is that information of interest? If so, what would be the best format to expand?
Let me know what you think in the comments! Thanks for reading.
I have a hard time reading with dyslexia. I don’t know if you remember But I will read anything you write in any format and will always have your back. Stay strong. miss you lots!
I’m OK with that option too. Hearing your voice or any of the ghosts just keeps me strong!